Where’s my can opener…

16 Jun

For some reason people with kids get offended when, after they share an anecdote about their beloved little tot, I say “that sounds just like my puppy, he does exactly the same thing!” Granted I don’t have kids, but I’ve heard enough stories to be able to compare your kid to my dog and say they’re very much alike. I’ve even had people who DON’T have kids or dogs argue with me on this, and all I can say is “if you haven’t had a kid or a puppy then how would YOU know?” As Dooce would point out, that’s called a NEENER.

I think people confuse the comparison with a statement on the value or intelligence of their children, as though I were saying people and animals are completely equal (which is a whole ‘nother can of worms I don’t care to open). Just because my dog brings me just as much joy as your kid brings you, that doesn’t mean I think your kid is on the same existential level as a Border Terrier. So stop being such an ass and let me enjoy my dog! I’m not sitting around hating on your child.

As a side note, did you know that Chaser the Border Collie knows the individual names of over 1000 toys and can pick out any toy from the pile simply by name? Now how smart is your 2 year old.

I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut when having such conversations, it’s not worth the contention to actually voice it. But if you don’t think a small being who puts everything in their mouth, has the attention span of a newt, and occasionally thinks their own poo is the best stuff on earth is everything like your toddler… Well I just don’t know what to say to that!

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Posted by on June 16, 2011 in Other Stuff


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