Catch me a catch

14 May

Isaac and I frequently say that the Border Terrier is a breed which appeals equally to the average man or woman, not something you can say for many breeds. Men typically don’t like anything too cutesy or small while women typically don’t like anything too sporty or masculine. Of course this isn’t always true, I’ve seen men carrying Poms in a man purse and women biking with their Weimaraner, but generally speaking.

Border Terriers are the ultimate unisex dog.

Men are attracted to their scruffiness, which somehow makes an otherwise small dog seem “manly”. Course, it’s not just that they’re scruffy. The Affenpinscher is also scruffy but most men think it looks weird and unattractive, which I will hypothesize as being due to the fact that they look like a baby (neoteny) and therefore are too cutesy. Plus they kinda look like monkeys, which most women will find cute but for some reason most men find disturbing. Borders are also sturdy dogs that can stand up to a good wrestling match or weekend hike. The average man seems to think of himself as “active” and most of them wouldn’t want to own a dog that can’t keep up with their activities. Also Borders like to fart and smell farts, which means that guys love to blame their farts on them and also fart on them since the dog will sniff the air, making the man fall over laughing with glee.

Women think that their scruffiness makes them downright adorable and they squeal with delight when a Border comes around. The fact they’re small is also attractive because it means they’re easier to live with overall, and less intimidating than a larger dog. Plus they could fit into a decent size tote bag. Women adore the Borders adoring personality and love to cuddle with them whenever the dog sits still long enough. Man not around to cuddle at night? No problem! Your Border will snuggle in your arms like a real life teddy bear. Not all women like the Borders coarse coat, but many of them find it fascinating since they’ve never felt anything like it. Finally, women go gaga over the fact that Borders love kids: you love their kids and they love you for it.

Honestly I think I should rent Wally out to single people. All a singleton needs is a Wally to immediately become a babe- or dude-magnet, they come flocking in equal numbers. Sit somewhere near foot traffic with Wally by your side and within minutes you’ll have person after person stopping to coo at or ask about or pet Wally. Which of course means you have a seamless segue into a get-to-know-you conversation. Voila, matchmaking service born!

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Posted by on May 14, 2012 in Wally


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